The first time I went to jail I was 18 years
old. I had gone AWOL from the navy, was living with 3 prostitutes,
and befriended an older Marine. The Marine and I decided to pull
an armed robbery of a small convenience store. A policeman happened
to be in the area, and after a long chase we were arrested and went
to jail. We ended up in different tanks in the Sonoma County Jail
in California. I was 6'1" and weighed about 180 pounds. I wasn't
a small guy and figured I could pretty well take care of myself.
I was in for a big surprise.
Their were 20 men in my tank, it was split into two 10 man pods
with 5 bunk beds in each pod, a day room was between them. The day
room had four large steel tables to eat on, a toilet and shower
was in the rear. The first night I was approached by 3 men. Two
of them were about my size and the third was about 20 pounds and
6 inches smaller. They asked who I was and what I was in for. I
told them and then one of them asked if I had ever been fucked.
I said "no and I wasn't planning on it," he said "we're
going to fuck you". l was filled with fear like I had never
felt before. I swung at him with a left hook and as he blocked it
his partner swung and hit me in the face knocking me to the floor.
One of them grabbed me by the hair and slammed my face into the
concrete knocking me out.
When I woke I was on my stomach, my pants had been pulled off,
my legs were spread wide apart with one guy sitting on each leg
and the other guy laying on my back. The guy on top was slapping
me awake and said I want you to feel this. He proceeded to drive
his cock deep into my butt. I had never felt such pain and tried
to get away. They held me in such a way I knew they had done this
to someone before. He fucked me for what seemed like forever and
then came in me. Then he switched places with another one, and all
three raped me. After it was over I was held in a head lock while
they debated if they should kill me or not. I was asked if I was
going to snitch and I told them "no." They said they would
kill me if I said anything to anyone. I really thought I was going
to die.
The next day they left me alone, I was numb and didn't know what
to do. I was raised not to snitch on people and to handle my own
problems and this was reinforced in Navy Boot-camp. As much as l
wanted to, I rejected snitching as an option. I was looking at 5
years to life in prison for the armed robbery. If I snitched and
then went to prison they could very easily have me killed. I was
from another state and knew no one in California. I was so terrified
and filled with shame and fear. My options were so limited, I felt
paralyzed and helpless. I had no one to talk too, or to help me.
That night the same three came back to my bunk. They said I was
their punk now and it would do no good to try and fight because
they'd just take me down and hurt me again even worse then before.
My head was throbbing from the beating, my right eye was black and
swollen shut, and my butt hurt. They told me to take a shower and
shave all the hair off my body from the neck down. I was just like
a robot and did what they said. Going along was better then getting
beat or killed. I didn't reason it out I just did it.
After shaving they told me I was going to give them all head. I
didn't want to and resisted. I said "please don't make me do
this." I couldn't imagine sucking a mans cock!! I was slapped
and my head was forced down to the first guys cock by my hair. I
started sucking his cock and he gave me instructions on how to suck
it. He grabbed me by the hair and forced his cock down my throat
when he came. I thought he was going to gag me to death and I puked
on the floor after he let go. The others must have been turned off
cause they left me alone that night. I was still in shock the next
day and wondered what would happen next. I even thought about killing
myself.
The next night the same three came to me again. This time they
told me to take off my pants. I was given Vaseline and told to lay
on my stomach and put some on my butt. I did what I was told. This
time they told me to help by pushing like I was taking a shit as
he pushed his cock in my ass. It made it a lot easier as he took
his time working it in making it less painful. It was still uncomfortable
and I felt like I had to take a shit while he was in me. This time
he fucked me like he would probably fuck a woman and it wasn't near
as bad as the first time. The second guy fucked me about the same
way while the third had me give him head at the same time. Their
was nothing pleasurable about it yet I was perplexed about getting
a hard on. I was afraid about it because I thought they would beat
me if they saw it. I also wondered if I could be homosexual. That
really bothered me!
I now know that when a man's Prostate Gland is stimulated he will
get an involuntary hard on. It was very confusing at the time. I
was able to keep them from noticing because they always had me lay
on my stomach for sex. Things started to tapper off after this and
they weren't so demanding. I would have sex with one of them at
a time, and at different times, however others in the pod started
to become interested.
I would be woken up at different times of the night and asked to
perform sex. I would just do it rather then risk being beaten. The
men began to treat me gently and after a week or so they started
letting me play cards with them and gave me candy bars and stuff.
Before that I was ostracized, no one talked to me nor would they
eat with me.
After a time some of them would even protect me against the three
that originally raped me. They would abuse me by calling me a punk
and asked things like, "do you like getting fucked in the ass
bitch" and "what would your girlfriends think of you now."
They even got into my things and wrote to the girls I had been living
with and told them I was a punk. Sometimes they would pull my hair
or slap me while I gave them head. The other guys started to get
on them about it. I appreciated them sticking up for me and started
to like them. These other guys treated me real well during sex.
Some of them preferred getting head and some liked fucking better.
Even though I wasn't saying no anymore they all knew they were
raping me. I knew it was established that I was a sex toy and if
I ever flat refused I'd be beaten badly. I thought of the first
three as violent rapists and the others as opportunists and in reality
nice rapists. They wouldn't come out and take sex violently but
would take advantage of a scared young person who they knew couldn't
say no.
At this point I was trapped in this role. I reasoned that I had
better just make the best of it and get past this the best I could.
After awhile the sex wasn't all un-pleasurable, however I became
rudely aware of what frustration many, many women go through. As
I would lay on my stomach getting fucked some of the guys treated
me just like a women. As they got hotter and hotter they'd start
grinding nicely and kissing on my neck and back and rub on my sides,
legs, butt, and stomach. This felt so good and I'd just give in
to it and enjoy it. I would start fucking them back so I could grind
my cock into the bed and get my own pleasure. It felt really good,
but right when I would start getting real hot they would usually
cum and put all their weight on me before I could orgasm. Then after
we got up they wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. It really
made me feel like shit.
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